Wednesday, January 6, 2010

"Going to the Hardware Store for Eggs"

I heard that quote recently, can't remember where, but it stuck.  I started thinking, wow, who would do that?  Which lead to, I do, all the time and I bet you do, too.  Don't think so? Do you argue with reality, like Byron Katie suggests in her book, "Loving What Is"?  Are you still shaking your head, "No way!"

How many times have you thought about the way so and so does not appreciate, notice or care about what you are doing, and that this happens all the time.  Hmm, so your boss doesn't give you the recognition you want, and never has, but you still expect it and are disappointed when she doesn't come through for you.  Dare I say it?, You are going to the hardware store for eggs!  You are arguing with the reality that the boss does not give recognition.  But, you say, she should do what you want her to do, and I bet you have lots of reasons why and many compelling arguments.  Doesn't matter, she still isn't doing it.  And you are the only one who is feeling the stress over something that is not likely to change because I would bet that if asked, the boss will have a lot of reasons why and many compelling arguments to support her position. 

So now what?  Do you change jobs, break up with your spouse, start a whole new career?  You can, but wouldn't it be just that much simpler to stop expecting people to give you what they can't or won't?  What if you shopped around for a better source for your wants.  Starting with yourself, what can you give yourself that you currently are outsourcing? Then, make a list of people who share your same world view and call those folks when you want some outside feedback.

You can continue to argue with the hardware store manager about the lack of eggs. And you can write letters to your congressman and regularly visit the store to harrass the clerks about the absence of poultry output.  

Or, you can go the the grocery store.