Sunday, March 28, 2010

What You Deserve

Recently, three friends got new cars which has rekindled my desire for a transportation upgrade.  Mind you, I don't need a new car, the one I have is running just fine.  But its eleven years old and a SUV,  and I prefer driving something a little more sleek than an apartment on wheels.  I inherited this car from my dad when he couldn't bear to "give away" the truck to a dealer for a mere $6000.  I did point out that if he "gave" it to the dealer instead of me, he'd be $6000 richer, but he said it was the principle of the thing.  My family has a weird, probably unhealthy attachment to their autos, but thats a subject for another day.  I happily accepted it because my 93 miata had seen better days and I didn't really want to take on a car payment. 

But that was over 2 years ago, and I'm ready for a new car.  And if you'd believe the auto company advertisements, I deserve a new car!  Now this is where it gets sticky because while I would love to agree with this mega industrys assessment of my rights, I'm wondering who is going to pay for it.  Not me, I deserve it therefore it should just show up in my driveway.  Deserve is one of those tricky words; it sounds like empowerment, but it really is just another representative of victim language.  "Deserve" feels like you are owed, that it is a right and someone or something is not allowing you to have it.  It is a very powerful word, and advertisers know it.  How often have you heard this in a commercial , "I "you" deserve a new dress, pair of designer shoes, a couple of designer houses.  I "you" work hard and haven't had anything new in about 60 seconds!" 

So, how do you get around the "deserve drama" that is so prevalent today.   Try changing the word, "deserve" for "want", and see if it is true.  Do you really want a vacation home is Spain, or is this just in response to a rivals acquisition or a question of keeping up with the Jones's.  Did you notice when you said "I want" it became less graspy and more empowering?  Wanting is a good thing and helps define where you are going.  And then setting an intention to get it allows your brain to start coming up with really cool ways to acquire your hearts desire.  And don't be surprised if the universe kicks in with a little help.  But not because you deserve it.

We deserve what we are able to provide for ourselves.  Do you feel you deserve respect, love, and heres a hot topic just for fun, health care?  I would ask you to start with yourself; do you respect and love you?  If so, are you aligning yourself with people, companies and institutions that also believe in these values?  And even then, do you stick up for yourself when the line is crossed or leave when it is not respected?  You do!, Congratulations, you are getting what you deserve!

For Mary,  deserve de-serves you!


  1. Am I the Mary? :)

    It makes me think of the tune..."you don't always get what you want...but it is powerful to know you want it...instead of the energy of deserve...great insight it! Great play on the experience of to serve or "de" know I love it! To "de" serve...

  2. Good points, as time goes by I KNOW that there are few things that I deserve and sometimes when I get something in that way it turns out to be a bummer--like all those years ago that I deserved a house with a pool---arrrrgh--so, I got what I deserved and now I am so tired of the work that goes along with it--Marilyn S. aka Mom

  3. I just listened to a Caroline Myss CD about the word "deserve" being the most awful word in the English language. I totally agree with you and took that word out of my vocabulary some time ago. It connotes a sense of entitlement that I detest and I believe it "de" serves all of us!